Block 54: April 12, 2013


TGIF, friends. Seriously; capital T, capital G, capital I, capital F.

Bring on the weekend!

So I can do some other work!

Date: April 12, 2013

Crane: 54

Days Spent on Project: 54

Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC

Person I would have sent it to: Harmony W., from elementary school.

Harmony was someone I met in school; full of life, I believed she had a wit about her that made talking and hanging out with her very fun. I think she was my first friend that might have challenged my ideas of being “nice” all the time. She was never mean, and she certainly didn’t cause trouble, but I felt she might be the kind of person who would eventually walk through life and command it instead of being lead by it.

Harmony’s father died in a somewhat tragic accident during work during our fifth grade year, if my memory remembers that detail correctly. It was the first time, I think, I encountered death in that not-really-personal and only-experienced-from-the-sidelines way. When you’re barely a preteen, how do you react? How do you talk to a friend about what that means? Or how they feel?

Now I know it was hard. It must have been incredibly difficult.

I can’t even imagine what that does to you. How that shapes you. How that stops you.

I wish I could say that she and I remained good friends for the remainder of elementary and middle school, but I feel we slowly drifted apart. For whatever reasons.

Music I listened to while sewing: I picked Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera this morning. I have no idea why; something about my mood must have been a little tortured gothic, I guess. I’m now listening to Audra McDonald.

Much better choice.

Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I have to say, there are times when I feel incredibly humbled by how much I love my dog.

I hope that doesn’t make me sound weird, but I just want to say how nice it is to have that presence in my life.

Back in 2009, I was hurting. My last serious boyfriend has broken up with me (right before Valentine’s Day!) and I spent most of the year emotionally devastated. The year culminated with me working on my first Broadway show as an Assistant, moving into a different apartment, and handing over a large chunk of change for The Dog.

Best decision ever.

It changes everything, owning a dog. My day and work schedule and the type of work I seek has changed to accommodate him. And I’m more than okay with that. To have a presence outside of me that depends on me really does give me some guidance, some kind of purpose that work wasn’t giving me.

It also helped me start emotionally healing.

Last night, I was working on the computer, sitting on a pillow on the floor when I realized The Dog was sitting on his pillow next to me. Just staring at the air.

It kind of broke my heart.

I wish you all have someone or something in your life that makes you feel needed and loved and a part of something bigger.

Happy Friday, everyone.

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