9pm and just finished!
Date: April 9, 2013
Days Spent on Project: 51
Location: Apartment, Washington Heights, NYC
Person I would have sent it to: Jeremy W., theatrical jack of all trades… Producer, Director, Choreographer, Actor, Dancer, Stitcher, Enabler, Critic, Provocateur, Instigator… This Crane is dedicated to him as much as he’s dedicated to this Art we do.
I met him twelve (TWELVE) years ago in a regional theater costume shop, randomly saw him a few (three?) years ago at City Bakery in New York. This year is the first year we’ve had the chance to work together on two different projects.
I have to thank you- for the opportunity to work on two projects that actually sound right up my alley (or the design alley that I wish and hope to walk down), for the belief you had that I’d be right for these projects, for acknowledging me as a peer, for the work, and for re-igniting some of the confidence I’d forgotten to have in myself.
These projects are small in scale, but they’re gloriously challenging and different and could be anything. So very grateful for this.
Music I listened to while sewing: M83’s album Hurry Up We’re Dreaming. Midnight City is the obvious “everyone’s favorite;” I’m starting to fall in love with Raconte-Moi Une Histoire.
But the album is easily one of the best I encountered in 2012.
Thoughts/Feelings behind the block: I’m still having (or would it be better to say that I’ve developed?) a kind of anxiety whenever I choose my daily Crane’s fabric.
You’d think that after 50 Cranes, some things would be evident.
Namely: there will be another Crane to think about tomorrow.
If today’s doesn’t turn out exactly the way I hoped, it won’t be the end of the world. Maybe the Crane blends in too much with the background fabric. Maybe the colors don’t really complement each other like I thought. Maybe I didn’t get one of the triangle’s angles stitched correctly, which made one portion of the block slightly off.
Also: People might not see this work.
I’m not planning- as my very original intent was- to mail the completed Quilted Cranes to their dedicated recipients. (Just imagine the postage costs!) The people for whom these Cranes are intended might never see the finished product. Strangely, besides you- the blog’s followers- and a few Facebook friends who’ve noticed this project, people might not ever know about this.
And: There are 1000 of these Quilted Cranes.
When all is said and done, and they’re all stitched and quilted together, I have to remember that if one “foot” on a few Crane blocks doesn’t match perfectly together, it most likely won’t be the end of the world. Given the scale of this project, the colors will eventually all work together. Standing away and looking at the whole, the small details that irk me most likely won’t be seen by anyone else.
These things should be freeing, right?
Still, after 50 days of piecing together Cranes, I have to remind myself- quite simply- to make a choice. And when that choice is made, commit to it. Finish that decision as best you can. Own the choice you’ve made. Don’t regret the choice in hindsight.
The You of Now is the collective sum of your past choices and experiences. This project is supposed to remind me that I, The Me of Now, am the sum of the people who have entered my life; my past decisions and actions have brought me right here.
And there’s no reason to regret that.
My path has taken me here. Tomorrow it will take me somewhere else. When this project is done- years from now- who knows where and what and how I’ll be. We can’t predict any of what’s to come.
I need to accept the beauty of that, and release into that unknown. If living is a journey, so are these Quilted Cranes. I don’t need to worry about the small day-to-day choices I have to make.
I should embrace that I get the opportunity to make them. Enjoy them. Move on from them. Face the next one. Accept that these choices are mine to make. Own them.
Yes, some choices are big. Some life -changing. But few have actually proven to be life-ending.
Here’s to what tomorrow brings, friends.